Reasons Not to Worry by Brigid Delaney

Reasons Not to Worry by Brigid Delaney turns to Stoic philosophy to navigate fear, grief, and life’s uncertainties. She blends ancient wisdom with personal experience to show how focusing on what we can control brings perspective and calm. The book offers practical insights for living more intentionally amid modern challenges.

Principles of Stoicism

• You only control: your character, how you treat others, your actions/reactions
  • All else is “preferred indifferents” (health, wealth, status)
• Virtue is the only good – never act in a way that destroys it
  • Wisdom – knowing how to act and judge rightly
  • Courage – acting rightly despite fear
  • Temperance – moderation and self-restraint
  • Justice – fairness, honesty, acting for the common good
• Perception shapes reality
  • Events don’t disturb you; your judgment of them does
  • Avoid “double suffering”: event = first pain, reaction = unnecessary second pain
• Tranquility over excitement
  • True peace (ataraxia) is calm, not a high
  • Serenity comes from detachment from outcomes
  • Zoom out → you’re a small part of the cosmos
• Detachment and acceptance
  • Everything is on loan
  • Less hope = less fear
    

Stoic Practices

Negative Visualization

• Regularly imagine losing what you have – loved ones, wealth, health
• Helps you prepare emotionally and appreciate the present more deeply

The Control Test

• Ask: Is this within my control?
  • If yes → act with virtue
  • If no → accept and adjust

Periodic Poverty

• Live simply by choice for a period of time
• “Practice discomfort” to break reliance on luxury and become more resilient.

Judgment Override

• Notice the impression (emotional reaction), but pause before judging
• Use reason to step back and respond wisely
• Delay reaction → gain perspective

Moderation

• Temperance over indulgence
• Enough is enough – don’t pursue excess
• Abstain completely if moderation is too difficult

Minimal Opinions

• Don’t feel you must have a take on everything
• Let go of constant judgment and commentary, especially online

Social Media Discipline

• Limit exposure – it’s a major disruptor of tranquility
• Shield yourself from both praise and criticism
• Ask: Is this insult true? If yes, valid & learn – If no, let go

Applications to Life

• Disaster & Setbacks
  • Use negative visualization + the control test
  • Discomfort is expected → treat it as training
  • Stay calm → don’t demand the world meet your comfort
• Happiness & Gratitude
  • True wealth = fewer wants, not more possessions
  • Stop moving the goalpost → contentment is a choice
  • Beware the hedonic treadmill → the high never lasts
• FOMO & Comparison
  • Think in trade-offs → what did you gain by NOT choosing the flashy option?
  • Don’t compare up or down → others’ lives are not your concern
  • Focus on character, not outcomes
• Anxiety
  • Welcome difficulties as tests of virtue
  • Filter input → bad information = bad judgments
  • One step at a time → forward motion is enough
• Grief
  • Pre-grieve → accept death through negative visualization
  • Better to have loved and lost than not at all
  • Everything is temporary → grief = reminder of impermanence
• Death
  • You will die
  • What matters: leaving with contentment + intact character
  • Dying well is part of living well