Reasons Not to Worry by Brigid Delaney

Reasons Not to Worry: How to Be Stoic in Chaotic Times—A Practical Guide to Stoicism for Self-Improvement and Personal Growth by Brigid Delaney is a self-help book published in 2022.

Have you ever found yourself spiraling in worry over things beyond your control? Delaney offers a refreshing antidote to the anxiety and restlessness that seem to define our modern lives. Drawing inspiration from ancient Stoic philosophy, Delaney presents timeless wisdom in a witty, accessible way. 

Whether you’re grappling with everyday stress or existential dread, Delaney’s book gently nudges you toward a calmer, more resilient mindset. She weaves personal stories with the teachings of thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, showing how their insights still hold power today.

Principles of Stoicism

• You only control: your character, how you treat others, your actions/reactions
  • All else is “preferred indifferents” (health, wealth, status)
• Virtue is the only good – never act in a way that destroys it
  • Wisdom – knowing how to act and judge rightly
  • Courage – acting rightly despite fear
  • Temperance – moderation and self-restraint
  • Justice – fairness, honesty, acting for the common good
• Perception shapes reality
  • Events don’t disturb you; your judgment of them does
  • Avoid “double suffering”: event = first pain, reaction = unnecessary second pain
• Tranquility over excitement
  • True peace (ataraxia) is calm, not a high
  • Serenity comes from detachment from outcomes
  • Zoom out → you’re a small part of the cosmos
• Detachment and acceptance
  • Everything is on loan
  • Less hope = less fear
    

Stoic Practices

Negative Visualization

• Regularly imagine losing what you have – loved ones, wealth, health
• Helps you prepare emotionally and appreciate the present more deeply

The Control Test

• Ask: Is this within my control?
  • If yes → act with virtue
  • If no → accept and adjust

Periodic Poverty

• Live simply by choice for a period of time
• “Practice discomfort” to break reliance on luxury and become more resilient.

Judgment Override

• Notice the impression (emotional reaction), but pause before judging
• Use reason to step back and respond wisely
• Delay reaction → gain perspective

Moderation

• Temperance over indulgence
• Enough is enough – don’t pursue excess
• Abstain completely if moderation is too difficult

Minimal Opinions

• Don’t feel you must have a take on everything
• Let go of constant judgment and commentary, especially online

Social Media Discipline

• Limit exposure – it’s a major disruptor of tranquility
• Shield yourself from both praise and criticism
• Ask: Is this insult true? If yes, valid & learn – If no, let go

Applications to Life

• Disaster & Setbacks
  • Use negative visualization + the control test
  • Discomfort is expected → treat it as training
  • Stay calm → don’t demand the world meet your comfort
• Happiness & Gratitude
  • True wealth = fewer wants, not more possessions
  • Stop moving the goalpost → contentment is a choice
  • Beware the hedonic treadmill → the high never lasts
• FOMO & Comparison
  • Think in trade-offs → what did you gain by NOT choosing the flashy option?
  • Don’t compare up or down → others’ lives are not your concern
  • Focus on character, not outcomes
• Anxiety
  • Welcome difficulties as tests of virtue
  • Filter input → bad information = bad judgments
  • One step at a time → forward motion is enough
• Grief
  • Pre-grieve → accept death through negative visualization
  • Better to have loved and lost than not at all
  • Everything is temporary → grief = reminder of impermanence
• Death
  • You will die
  • What matters: leaving with contentment + intact character
  • Dying well is part of living well