Reasons Not to Worry: How to Be Stoic in Chaotic Times—A Practical Guide to Stoicism for Self-Improvement and Personal Growth by Brigid Delaney is a self-help book published in 2022.
Have you ever found yourself spiraling in worry over things beyond your control? Delaney offers a refreshing antidote to the anxiety and restlessness that seem to define our modern lives. Drawing inspiration from ancient Stoic philosophy, Delaney presents timeless wisdom in a witty, accessible way.
Whether you’re grappling with everyday stress or existential dread, Delaney’s book gently nudges you toward a calmer, more resilient mindset. She weaves personal stories with the teachings of thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, showing how their insights still hold power today.
Purchase the book by clicking this link here!
Enjoy!
Table of Contents
Principles of Stoicism
Control
- You only truly control:
- Your character
- How you treat others
- Your actions and reactions
Everything else is outside your control (e.g., health, wealth, status) and considered “preferred indifferents.”
Virtue Is the Only Good
- The four core virtues:
- Wisdom – knowing how to act and judge rightly
- Courage – acting rightly despite fear
- Temperance – moderation and self-restraint
- Justice – fairness, honesty, and acting for the common good
Virtue = character, and that is your highest responsibility – don’t ever do something that would destroy your virtue
Perception Shapes Reality
- “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” – Epictetus
- It’s not the event, but the judgment you make of it that causes disturbance
- Don’t suffer twice – the event causes the first pain; your reaction may cause unnecessary second pain.
Tranquility Over Excitement
- True peace (ataraxia) is a resting state, not an emotional high
- Serenity comes from not being tied to external outcomes
- “Zoom out” and remember you are a small part of the cosmos
Detachment and Acceptance
- Everything is on loan – eventually it will be taken back
- Cease to hope, and you will cease to fear
Stoic Exercises & Practices
Negative Visualization
- Regularly imagine losing what you have – loved ones, wealth, health
- Helps you prepare emotionally and appreciate the present more deeply
The Control Test
- Ask: Is this within my control?
- If yes → act with virtue.
- If no → accept and adjust.
Periodic Poverty
- Live simply by choice for a period of time
- “Practice discomfort” to break reliance on luxury and become more resilient.
Judgment Override
- Notice the impression (emotional reaction), but pause before judging
- Use reason to step back and respond wisely
- Delay reaction → gain perspective
Moderation
- Temperance over indulgence
- Enough is enough – don’t pursue excess
- Abstain completely if moderation is too difficult
Minimal Opinions
- Don’t feel you must have a take on everything
- Let go of constant judgment and commentary, especially online
Social Media Discipline
- Limit exposure – it’s a major disruptor of tranquility
- Shield yourself from both praise and criticism
- Ask: Is this insult true? If yes, valid & learn – If no, let go
Applications to Life
Disaster & Setbacks
- Use negative visualization and the control test
- Discomfort is expected – welcome it as training
- Be calm, don’t demand the world cater to your comfort
Happiness & Gratitude
- True wealth = fewer wants, not more possessions
- Stop moving the goalpost – contentment is a choice
- Beware the hedonic treadmill – the high never lasts
FOMO & Comparison
- Think in trade-offs – what did you gain by not choosing the flashy option?
- Don’t compare up or down – others’ lives are not your concern
- Focus on your character, not outcomes
Anxiety
- Welcome difficulties as tests of virtue
- Filter input – bad info leads to bad judgments
- One step at a time – forward motion is enough
Grief
- Pre-grieve – accept that everyone dies and use negative visualization
- Better to have loved and lost than not at all
- All things are temporary – grief is a reminder of your own impermanence
Death
- You are going to die
- What matters is that you leave with contentment and character intact
- Dying well is part of living well
Check out more Self-Help posts!
- Reasons Not to Worry by Brigid Delaney
- The 32 Principles by Rener Gracie
- 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam
- The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
- The Art Of Happiness by The Dalai Lama & Howard Cutler
- The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile
- The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
- High Conflict by Amanda Ripley
- The Hidden Habits Of Genius by Craig Wright
- Range by David Epstein
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Essentialism by Greg McKeown
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